We All Do It
by madsthenerdygirl
Summary: Everybody thinks about it, and Beckett is no exception. What Castle didn't expect was for her to write about it…


**Title: We All Do It**

**Rating: M – if it's Castle, and I'm writing it, it's M. You know why.**

**Summary: Everybody thinks about it, and Beckett is no exception. What Castle didn't expect was for her to write about it…**

**Disclaimer: If Castle were mine, first thing I'd do would give Sophia a much more violent death; like being eaten by wild dogs. Then I'd have Joanna Beckett's murder be caught. And then Rick and Kate would… well, let's just say Castle wouldn't even be fit for HBO.**

**Author's Note: This starts off with a hint of angst, but it'll get fluffy and smutty quickly, so don't shoot me!**

He was kissing his way down her collarbone, sucking at the wet skin as if he were drying to lap up the moisture clinging there. She squirmed, bucking her hips against him. He stopped nibbling along the tendons in her neck and she felt his smile.

"Impatient, Detective?" His voice was lower and huskier than usual, sending shivers up her spine, but the teasing note was the same as ever.

She couldn't speak. She only bucked her hips again, straining to get closer to him. He chuckled and moved his hands lower, sliding them over her skin to rest at the top of her thighs. His thumbs made slow strokes, gently moving closer to where she desperately needed them.

Her eyes were closed, but she could feel his intense gaze on her, feel how her breasts were crushed against his chest every time that she took in a heaving breath. She wanted – no, needed – him to go faster, but this was the one place where he was in control, and he was relishing it.

Suddenly he swooped down and attacked her breasts, his tongue swirling around her nipples before biting down gently. She cried out, writhing underneath him as he continued to bite and suck. His hands were inching ever closer to her core, marking her with trails of fire that burned into her skin like a branding iron.

"Oh God… oh… _fuck_…" She was a babbling idiot and he hadn't even properly _touched_ her yet. She was so screwed.

He went even further down, licking slowly down her stomach and swirling his tongue in her navel. She bucked her hips again.

"Please, Castle, please…" She never begged, damn it, and he knew that. He was enjoying this.

The next place she felt his tongue was at her entrance. His hands shifted to pin her hips down so that she couldn't move them, holding her prisoner. He began to work on her, and she flung her head back so violently she thought she heard something in her spine crack.

He didn't stop, though. He was working her like he'd been doing it all of his life, and she was helplessly screaming. She really hoped her neighbors weren't home.

"Shit… fuck, Castle… ah… oh, right there right – don't stop, oh _God_ don't stop… Rick… Rick ah!" She was no longer capable of speech, just one long scream. Her orgasm flooded her, transforming her, like the phoenix, into flame as she soared. She was burning away but she was free, weightless and filled with a blazing ecstasy.

Her screams died into pants as her climax ebbed away. She sucked air into her lungs, her eyes stinging with tears from the force of her orgasm. Slowly, she removed her fingers from inside of her. For a good minute she was unable to move, but her body slowly regained strength and she was able to sit up. Her body was hot and flushed, but her bed was still cold and empty.

Quickly, she sat up and hurried to clean up the mess she'd made of both her sheets and her hands. She really needed to look into getting a vibrator; her last one had broken a couple months back and she just hadn't had the heart to replace it, but at this rate she'd have to.

Sighing, she finished cleaning up and pulled out her laptop. She'd no idea how she'd ever been convinced to start this, but now it was like she just had to record it, had to write it down.

Moving the mouse, she clicked on the file hovering unassumingly below the Firefox icon on her desktop. She opened it up and began to type.

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

Detective Kate Beckett did not share her feelings. Even when she'd been younger, been free and open, she hadn't been the first one to talk during the sharing circle in Pre-school. So when Dr. Burke inevitably brought up the subject of Castle, Beckett had stopped just short of point-blank refusing to discuss it.

"But you know that he loves you." Dr. Burke said calmly.

Beckett didn't trust herself to speak, so she nodded.

"And you love him as well?"

Beckett couldn't tell if it was a question or a statement.

"I…" She trailed off, swallowed, and then looked down at her hands in her lap.

Dr. Burke nodded slightly. "You know, you don't have to talk to me about it. But you should let your feelings out somehow – and I don't mean hitting the gym."

Beckett grimaced.

"Talking and sharing our thoughts and feelings isn't just so that we clear the air; it can also help us articulate ourselves, identify what we are really feeling." Dr. Burke explained. "If there isn't anyone you can talk to about it, then at least start writing it."

"Like a journal?" Beckett was sure as hell _not_ going to start going all 'Dear Diary'.

Dr. Burke shook his head. "No, nothing like that; I don't want you to view this as a chore or anything. Just, whenever you feel the need to express what you're feeling, write it down. It can be in a notebook or on a computer, just so long as you get it out and into a place where you can read it and think about it."

"And you want this to be specifically about Castle?" Beckett asked.

The minute she said it she realized she'd jumped the gun.

"If that's what's weighing on your mind, then yes." Dr. Burke nodded.

It was weighing on her mind. _He_ was weighing on her mind. Beckett's usual demon, her mother's murder, had been replaced by all-consuming thoughts of her partner. It was as if, since his confession, the floodgates had been opened.

Not that she hadn't fantasized about him before – oh, no, far from it. She'd dedicated so many damn masturbation sessions to that man that she probably owed him more orgasms then all the women he'd actually slept with combined.

But it wasn't just the physical. The physical played a huge part, yes, but now she was weighted down with this secret. She knew she was right to wait. She was broken and needed help; what else was she going to Dr. Burke for? Castle deserved someone whole, someone who could give him as much as he gave, because whatever else you could say about him, Castle was one of the most generous and giving people Beckett had ever met.

Until then, however, until she could give him what he deserved, thoughts of him were driving her crazy.

Beckett considered what Dr. Burke had said. She'd been a professional emotion-hider, locking all unwanted thoughts far away in a deep, dusty corner of her mind, but Castle had snuck up on her. She would read books in the bathtub to relax, and that naturally included his books. When the Nikki Heat series had come out, she'd read those in the bath, too. Nikki and Rook in her mind had morphed into Castle and herself and before she knew it she was shattering around her fingers, crying out his name.

She'd sloshed so much water all over the floor that one time she'd nearly broken her leg slipping on the floor.

Yes, the good doctor had a point. She was the poster child for pent-up emotions, and if she didn't do something about it soon she was going to snap. Given her luck, she'd most likely end up screaming at Castle in the precinct – or, worse, kissing him in the precinct.

And so it was, with great reluctance, that the Castle Fantasies document was born.

It sat on her computer desktop, waiting for Beckett to succumb to her desires (or to have a very vivid dream) and record it in said document. Whenever Beckett read back over what she'd written she'd blush, but not because of the sex there. No, she'd never been vanilla or repressed when it came to sex. It was the emotion that was turning her cheeks red. The sheer strength of her desire, the naked emotion, the desperate need… all right there, spelled out plain as day.

She was madly, stupidly, ridiculously in love with the man.

Lord, if Castle ever found out about this, she'd die of embarrassment.

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

Richard Castle did not like keeping secrets.

He'd never kept any secrets, either from his mother or from Alexis, for any length of time. Any information hidden from them eventually saw the light of day because really, he just couldn't keep his mouth shut.

Now, he was keeping a secret from Kate. _Kate_, the one woman that he wanted to share everything with; his home, his heart… she was the one he was hiding things from.

He hated it.

He understood that she would be killed. He knew that keeping her in the dark, keeping her away from all of that, was the only way to keep her safe. And God knew he wanted to keep her safe. He wanted to hold her close and protect her from anything and everything that could possibly threaten her.

But having the knowledge and investigating it were two separate things, weren't they?

Long story short, Castle had to balance his need to protect Beckett with his trust in her, his respect for her. This was her life, and she ultimately had to be the one to make the decisions regarding it.

Although, in truth, he felt a little like the spouse who had to decide whether or not to pull the plug on the vegetable.

Castle toyed with the remote in his hand, frowning at it. He knew Beckett would hate him for keeping this from her, but he'd much rather she learned about it from him then discover on her own. Considering all that had happened with Sophia, and then watching a marriage get destroyed and two girls murdered over a secret…

He had to trust her. He respected Beckett more than anyone else he'd ever met; respected her for her strength, for her principles, her adherence to doing the right thing, and for so much more. He trusted her with his life, for crying out loud – surely he could trust her with this.

Castle remembered when they'd gone to L.A. to avenge Royce's death. He'd seen Beckett standing there, gun pointed at the murder, her entire body rigid with the strength of her anger. She could have killed the man. He knew that she'd wanted to. But she hadn't. She hadn't crossed that line.

Taking out a flash drive, Castle downloaded the Beckett file (codenamed 'Nikki Rook') onto the drive and putting it in his pocket.

"Mother, Alexis, I'm heading out! I'll be back in time to make dinner!" He called, grabbing a jacket.

Martha descended the stairs like Kate Winslet on the grand staircase of the Titanic. "Alexis is out on another one of her internships, darling, but I'm sure she'll be back in time for dinner."

"Another one?" Castle couldn't keep up at this point. "What's this one?"

"She's a tour guide at the Metropolitan." Martha explained with a sweeping gesture. "Ah, exposing young minds to the great works of the masters… which reminds me, this master has to go expose her young minds to Arthur Miller in half an hour."

Castle kissed her cheek. "Have fun." He said, smiling. He headed out the door, trying not to run.

He was at Beckett's apartment in less than twenty minutes.

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

_I swear I had no idea that someone could be that wet… I had to wash my sheets afterwards so they wouldn't stain. I'm glad that my next door neighbors are, apparently, away on vacation otherwise_

Beckett stopped typing when she heard the knock at the door. Frowning, she clicked 'save' and closed the document. She had a very sneaky suspicion she knew who the person on the other side of the door was…

She was not disappointed. Richard Castle, dopey grin firmly in place, coffee in hand, was standing outside her front door. Beckett felt her grin growing, and in keeping with trying to open up and be more than her mother's murder, she let her smile show.

"Hey Castle." She said.

"I was hoping that, since you weren't on call, you might have time to relax and… talk, for a minute." Castle said.

Beckett's stomach clenched at the tone in his voice. Someone who didn't know him would think everything was fine, but Beckett knew Castle. Something was up.

"Sure; come on in." She said, forcing herself to keep smiling.

She took the coffee he offered her gratefully, taking a sip and letting the warmth seep into her. She closed her eyes in bliss.

Castle watched her, his breath catching in his throat. She was so beautiful, with her head tipped back slightly and her eyes closed. A ghost of a smile was flitting across her lips. She did everything, even the tiniest, most everyday things, in the most beautiful way.

Beckett felt his gaze on her and opened her eyes, smiling. Castle smiled back before gently taking her by the arm and leading her to her couch. They sat down, angled so that they were facing each other. Castle released her arm reluctantly, before pulling out the flash drive in his pocket.

"I haven't been completely honest with you." He said slowly.

Beckett's heart plummeted. She had no idea what he was talking about, but she was seized with a great fear. Something was wrong; something was very, very wrong.

Castle took a deep breath. Now that he'd started, he had to finish. "Montgomery contacted someone before he died – someone with the ability to keep you safe. This person was able to get a deal; if you backed off, they'd let you live."

Beckett felt like someone had wrapped a vice around her heart and was squeezing it. She let Castle keep talking, but it was partly because she couldn't breathe well enough to speak and interrupt him.

"This man called me, and told me to keep you off your mother's case. He said it was the only way to keep you alive." Castle gently took Beckett's hands in his, rubbing them with his thumbs the way he had when he'd brought Royal over to her apartment.

"The people who tried to frame the Mayor did it to get me kicked out of the precinct. They want you dead and out of the way, and that means getting me out of the way because, according to this man, I'm the only one who can hold you back."

Castle looked down at their joined hands for a moment, and then up into Beckett's eyes. Blue stared into brown, blue sky into brown earth, deep flame into green water.

"He didn't say anything about me investigating, though." Castle said quietly. He turned and picked up Beckett's laptop, inserting the flash drive and opening the file.

Beckett didn't even have time to comment on the name of the file – Nikki Rook – because then she was staring at not only her face, but a wealth of information, a spider's web of faces and facts that all connected back to her.

She couldn't breathe. She could barely think. She felt Castle's gaze on her, loving and fierce, waiting.

Slowly, Beckett turned away from the images on the computer screen. "Castle." She said quietly. Castle flinched, expecting her to scream at him or throw him out.

Beckett reached up and cupped his cheek, forcing him to look into her eyes. Castle started speaking, quickly, trying to get it all out.

"I wanted to tell you, but I was worried you'd go after them again and I just can't take that anymore, Kate. I can't take it." Castle blurted. "I wasn't going to watch you throw your life away over this."

"What changed your mind?" Beckett asked.

Castle gave a watery smile. "I realized I was doing you a disservice." He said, his voice hoarse. "You are the most responsible, principled, strong person that I know. I trust you with my life, Kate."

He was using her first name again, making her stomach burst into a thousand fluttery creatures and fly wildly around in her chest.

"I trust you with my life, and I need to trust you with your own."

Beckett nodded slowly. "Castle…" She said. "I'm sorry."

Castle blinked. What was she apologizing for?

"I'm sorry you felt you had to hide this from me." Beckett said, thinking carefully about each word before she said it. "You're right; it's my life and my choice. But… but I appreciate your wanting to protect me. I do."

Castle felt like he was dreaming. He nearly looked around to see if there was a floating unicorn or Optimus Prime in the room as well, but kept his gaze focused on Beckett.

Beckett smiled at him, a watery smile to match his, and he saw the tears standing in her eyes. She was more grateful for this gesture of trust then she could say.

"I want to be more than my mother's murder." _I want to be more for you._

Castle nodded. Beckett squeezed his hand and stood up. "Put that away and I'll order us some takeout."

Grinning, Castle watched as Beckett went over to her phone and called the local Chinese place. He turned to her computer and closed down his document, ejecting the flash drive. He was about to close her laptop when a file on her desktop caught his eye.

'Castle Fantasies'?

Knowing that his life would probably be forfeit, Castle double clicked on the file and opened it.

_I dreamed about him again. Apparently, you can orgasm while dreaming._

Castle's mouth fell open. Beckett was recording all the dreams and fantasies she'd had about him. And Natalie Rhodes had claimed _he_ was the one verbally masturbating?

When Beckett had told him he had no idea, he'd never fully grasped just how right she was. Beckett had quite the imagination. His favorite had to be when she'd dreamed she'd tricked him into meeting her for a rendezvous by claiming they had a case.

_I don't even know how I got there, but suddenly I'm at this crime scene… but there wasn't a body. It was just me, wearing – well, wearing stuff I haven't worn since back when I'd fuck any guy with a motorcycle._

The tiny voice of common sense that resided somewhere in Castle chose this moment to wake up and remind him that if he didn't stop reading he would not only have a very large problem with Beckett, but one in his pants as well.

Castle swallowed dryly. The little voice was right, of course. This was a violation of Beckett's privacy, and it wasn't really any of his business, but _she was fantasizing about him and writing it down!_

"What are you doing?"

Beckett was alarmed, shocked, and embarrassed all at once. She felt her cheeks flushing, which irritated her. She hadn't blushed in front of a boy since the eighth grade!

Castle turned, looking like he'd been caught with his hand in the cookie jar. He grinned sheepishly. "Looks like I'm not the only one keeping secrets, eh Detective?"

Beckett walked over and quickly shut the lid of her laptop, nearly pinching Castle's fingers in the process. "That's none of your business." She said.

"I should think it is." Castle argued. "After all, I'm the one you're writing about."

The devilish look on his face as he thought about what she'd written kindled a fire in Beckett's core. She swallowed as Castle stood up.

"It's an exercise." She explained. "It helps me express my emotions and work out my feelings."

Castle stepped closer. "And just what are your feelings, Detective?"

Beckett's eyes flicked downward of their own accord. She suppressed the electric shudder her body gave when she noticed the bulge in his pants. She forced herself to look up at Castle's face… and resisted licking her lips.

She opened her mouth, but no sound came out. She tried again, but all she could manage was a squeak. Katherine Beckett did not squeak.

Well, not until now.

"It appears to me, Kate, that I'm not the only one using writing to hold myself back." Castle's grin was dangerously close to a leer. "Although, from what I read your little… sessions… have been getting more intense as of late."

Beckett found her voice hiding somewhere in the vicinity of her stomach. The minute she'd found it, however, she wished it had stayed hidden. "I know." She blurted out.

Castle blinked. She knew what? Why did she say it like that? Did she mean…

Oh.

She knew?

She knew.

She _knew!_

Beckett folded her arms and looked down at the floor as if expecting it to open up and allow her to sink down into its depths. She kind of wished it would; then she wouldn't have to explain herself.

"I remember everything." She said, choking on the tears that were welling up inside of her. Shit, Kate, you will _not_ cry, not now! "At first I thought that I was dreaming; that being shot had made me muddled and I was just remembering something I wish had happened or that I'd heard you wrong, but then I knew it had really happened."

Kate continued to look at the floor, so she didn't see that Rick was slowly stepping closer. She kept talking because it was the only thing keeping her from sobbing. "I wanted to say something, but I didn't know if maybe it was just a heat of the moment thing, and then… then every day I didn't call it just became harder to do it, you know? And I just…" A sob slipped out. "I just didn't feel worthy. I felt so empty and broken and I don't want that. God, Rick, I don't want that at all. I want to be more than this… this shell, I want to be…"

She hiccupped.

"I want to be more for you." She whispered.

She couldn't hold it in anymore. She was going to cry, and most likely collapse in a heap on the floor, in another second but then Rick took one last step forward. He couldn't see her like this, all torn up and feeling empty, feeling like a hollow man when she was more real, more solid, then anyone else in this world to him.

He enveloped her in his arms, holding her tight to him while she cried. Her entire body was heaving with the force of the sobs, tears running down her face, and at one point she was crying so hard she was hiccupping in order to breathe. But strangely, she felt… weightless. Now that it was out, now that her secret was gone, she was free and open. It was like a light had broken through the clouds around her heart and shone through, illuminating the once dark and lonely space.

Rick held her, soothing her, his left hand rubbing little circles on the small of her back while his right hand smoothed her hair. She clung to him, trembling violently, one hand gripping his shoulder as the other fisted in his shirt, keeping him pressed to her.

Finally the sobs became smaller, receding, and she was able to breathe again. Rick kissed her forehead so gently it felt like a butterfly had landed there. Kate tried again.

"I want to be the person you see. The way you talk about me, the way you write about Nikki… I want to be that strong, that trustworthy, that responsible. I want to be able to live up to your expectations and I couldn't, not the way I was."

She looked up into his face and saw that the familiar twinkle was back. "If that's not the way you were, Kate, then how did I see them in you?" He asked gently.

Her breath hitched. He had such faith in her, it took her breath away. It was strangely humbling.

Rick repositioned his arms so that he had one on each of her upper arms, gripping gently and keeping her lower body pressed against him. "You are all that and more, Kate, and don't you ever think differently. You are more than you believe yourself to be, and you are certainly not broken."

Kate smiled, wrapping her arms around his neck and pressing herself against him fully. She could feel that, despite the comforting session, Rick Jr. hadn't gone to sleep. Her smile widened.

"Although you are a little twisted, if that document is anything to judge by." Rick went on.

"Oh, shut up, Castle." She said, leaning forward and kissing him.

Rick groaned, and Kate took full advantage by slipping her tongue into his open mouth. He eagerly responded, their oral battle fanning the flames within them until they threatened to consume them. Rick slid his hands down until he was firmly gripping her hips. He squeezed them, making her yelp, and he chuckled.

Kate retaliated, reaching down and squeezing his manhood. Rick gasped involuntarily, and she gave a little laugh that was pure lust. Rick grinned. He could hardly believe this was actually happening, but if he'd had any doubts, they were blown away by that laugh. He could never, in any of his dreams, have imagined Kate laughing in that sinful way.

"So tell me, Detective," He said, his hands roaming lower and kneading her ass, "What's the most frequent fantasy you had?"

God, her ass was so perfect. He'd always ogled it whenever she was walking away from him, and he'd suspected more than once that she'd known this and put an extra swing in her hips. Now it was in his hands and he really couldn't help but think that he could spend a good few decades writing about just that luscious part of her.

Kate lifted up her left leg and hooked it around his waist, keeping him pressed to her. Rick took this as an opportunity to run his hand down the length of it, the denim of her jeans unable to stop his hand from sending electric thrills wherever he touched.

Slowly, far too slowly for her liking, he began to kiss his way down her neck. She tossed her head back, gasping. Rick made his way back up to her ear, biting gently on the lobe.

"You didn't answer my question, Kate." He growled.

Funny, but she was usually the one conducting successful interrogations.

"What was it again?" She whispered, barely able to concentrate as one of his hands slipped under her shit and started skittering across her abdomen.

"What was your most frequent fantasy?" He asked, his voice nearly dripping with lust.

Kate blinked as she tried to think, but Rick bit her neck and she cried out, while he soothed it with his tongue and lips. "You… you pleasuring me…" She managed to get out.

"How?" He demanded. Rick was a man of words, and she supposed it made sense that that he would want her to verbalize her desires, but fuck if he wasn't making it difficult with all that he was doing to her!

"With your… ah… with – oh – your mouth." She gasped.

"Really?" If this had been any other time she would have shot him for the smugness in his tone, and he knew it, but he also knew that she was going to let it slide… this time, anyway.

Before Kate could even think of a retort she was swooped off her feet. She instinctively wrapped her arms around Rick's waist, gripping his shoulders as he began to carry her to her bedroom. She giggled – really, when was the last time she'd done _that_? – and slapped him playfully.

"Put me down!"

Rick pushed her up against the wall so that he could pull back and see her face. "Why should I?" He teased. "You like it."

Well, he did have a good point there.

He leaned forward, pressing her up against the wall and kissing her, his tongue slowly exploring her mouth. She tasted sweet, with a slight mocha bitterness from the coffee, and a deep, lustful taste that was pure Kate.

Still kissing her, he made his way to her bedroom, laying her down on her bed with surprising tenderness. They kissed for a good minute or two more before breaking apart. They gazed at one another for a moment, just drinking each other in.

Kate Beckett was lying beneath him, in his arms. He'd dreamed this, fantasized about this, hell, even written about it, but this was different. This was real, and tangible, and so beautiful he could hardly breathe. Her eyes were shining, and her skin almost seemed to glow.

Kate just stared at him, almost afraid to blink. If she dared close her eyes, even for a millisecond, or looked away, he'd be gone; just another scarily realistic phantom that her mind had conjured up. The light from her bedroom window illuminated him, setting his eyes ablaze and making his skin almost golden in color.

"So, about those fantasies…"

She blinked, but before she could do more than gasp in surprise he had her shirt and bra off and was latching onto her breast. She writhed instinctively, a cry of surprise torn from her lips. She lifted her hips as he pulled her pants off of her, taking her underwear with her.

"Rick…"

Her voice was breathless, panting, and she rolled the 'r' slightly. His already hard member grew at the sound of it, responding to her voice. She had the most beautiful, made-for-sin voice he'd ever heard.

He didn't pause, moving slowly down her body, taking time to taste every inch of her glorious, creamy skin. He kissed her scar, once, acknowledging its presence, but he didn't linger or give it any more notice. This wasn't about losing her. This was about finding her, finding each other, and that was what he wanted to focus on.

And he was going to start by making her scream.

Rick was finally, finally at her entrance, and Kate could hardly stand the tension. She wanted to scream at him to hurry up, that her entire body was on fire and that it was all his fucking fault and for the love of God could he just–

And then he was on her, his tongue darting in and out of her, his fingers digging into her thighs while she sought purchase in the sheets of her bed. He was working her like a pro, and she bit her lip so hard that it bled from trying not to scream. Her inner fire was all at one point now, right at her center, building and building and building…

Then he bit down, lightly, on her clit, and that was it. She cried out, her back arching and her body becoming rigid like an archer's bow. The fire within her shot out through her entire body, burning her, melting her until she was nothing but air and liquid and pleasure, oh, so much pleasure…

When the fire was finally back in control and she could actually see straight, she found that Rick was holding her, smoothing her hair back from her sweaty face and keeping her wracking body safe against him. He honestly couldn't think of anything more beautiful then that sight – the sight of Kate, her face tight with pleasure, falling apart for him, her perfect mouth open and her body shaking with tremors of ecstasy. He made a silent vow then and there to do whatever it took to get that reaction from her, as many times as he possibly could.

Kate looked up at him, smiling slowly. Her eyes gleamed, first with pleasure, then with mischief. "Rick…" She said. She purposefully rolled the 'r', and his member twitched. "I think you're overdressed for this occasion."

"And here I thought my taste was impeccable."

Kate laughed, but a little guiltily. Here she was, naked, and he'd gone down on her with his clothes still on. It was time to even the score. Hurriedly, almost frantically, she started to undo the buttons of his shirt while he wiggled out of his wriggled out of his pants. It was almost comical when he realized his shoes were still on and he had to kick those off and then take care of his pants.

It was definitely comical when she saw that he was wearing Green Lantern boxers.

Watching Kate nearly fall off of her bed with laughter was definitely a good thing, but Rick didn't exactly enjoy that she was laughing at _him_.

"I'll have you know that these are very comfortable." He spluttered.

"Oh, I'm sure." She chuckled. "But I think I prefer you go commando right now."

With that, she pulled his boxers down. He stepped out of them and into her arms, falling back onto the bed. The next few minutes were nothing short of an arousal contest, as they used their mouths and hands to push each other further and further along that path towards ecstasy.

"Rick… I can't…" Kate could barely get the words out.

"You can't what?" He asked.

Damn the man and his fucking childish need to oh, right there, yes, dear God yes!

Rick grinned impishly at Kate's face as he repeated his actions, pressing his knee against her throbbing center. She was almost pulsing down there from how much she needed release.

"I can't take it." She hissed, raking her fingernails along his back. "I need you in me."

"As you wish." He chuckled.

They both shifted, and Rick gently placed his tip at her entrance, entering her slowly. Her walls dilated to accept him, and they both sucked in a breath at the sensations. At first, they were both content to just lie there, but then she tightened around him and Rick's eyes nearly rolled back from the pleasure it gave him.

Slowly, but quickly picking up pace until the entire bed was moving (she really needed to buy a sturdier bed, Kate thought), they moved. Fluidly, relentlessly, harder and faster until there was nowhere else to go but up, higher than either of them had ever gone before.

Her scream was quickly followed by his own, and they cried out each other's names with such force that a few pigeons roosting on the window ledge turned curiously, ruffling their feathers. Rick had brought her pleasure just a few minutes ago but that was just a wildfire – this, this feeling, of him pounding into her, of hitting that sweet spot over and over, making her body sing – this was a roaring inferno.

After what seemed like an impossibly long time, they collapsed on the bed, sated almost to the point of gluttony.

Kate eventually became aware that Rick was crushing her, and she wriggled to try and get out from under him. He grunted. "I'm sorry." He apologized, rolling off of her.

She laughed. Pure, joyous laughter for no reason other than that she felt good. Rick made another vow to get her to laugh like that as much as possible. Preferably several dozen times a day.

Her laughter slowed and she slowly reached up and stroked his cheek. The words, having lain heavy in her chest for so long, floated out of her with a gentleness she hadn't expected. "I love you." She whispered.

His grin was so wide it nearly split his face, and Kate almost giggled again just from seeing it. The joy radiating out of him was infectious. Kate leaned in.

"It's your turn to say it." She told him.

"Actually, I already said it, a long time ago, so I think we're even now." Rick said, wrapping an arm around her and pulling her flush against him.

"I want to hear you say it again." Kate insisted. "Say that you love me."

"Always." He whispered, his eyes shining with love. "I love you, forever and always."

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

_That was way better than any of my fantasies. God, what that man can do_

Kate was interrupted when strong arms wrapped around her waist and she felt a chin rest on her shoulder. Rick grinned when he saw what she was doing.

"I don't think you'll have any more use for this now that you have the real thing." He said. "Unless, of course, you want to show this to your therapist…"

Kate turned and wacked him playfully on his (gloriously bare) chest. "I don't show this to anyone." She turned back to the computer screen. "At least, not until you snuck a peek."

He laughed and pulled her into his lap. She curled up against him, smiling. "You know, I don't think I'll delete this just yet." She mused. "There are several things in here I'd love to try…"

Rick swallowed hard, his brain going into overdrive as various fantasies flicked by in his mind's eye. "Like what?" He asked.

Kate grinned. "Well, there is this one I had a few months ago involving hot fudge…"

She turned and laughed at his expression of shock and his dilated pupils. "You are _so_ easy." She proclaimed.

His smile matched hers. "Only for you." He assured her, leaning forward and capturing her lips. "Only for you."

**Okay, so there was more hurt and comfort in here then I originally intended but, you know how it is which characters… they just go and do their own thing no matter how much you beg them to listen to you. At least when Beckett goes off and does her own thing she'd polite about it; Castle, on the other hand – yes, you, you little stinker – always sticks his tongue out at me when he goes against my original intentions.**

**Anyhow, I was nervous about this piece because I don't like first person as a rule, but I had to do it for the snippets of Beckett's 'sex diary' so I'm really hoping that came out okay! Oh, and the 'hollow man' bit is from a poem by T.S. Eliot. That guy could really use some Prozac; he never wrote anything positive.**

**There was a little nod to another one of Nathan Fillion's roles in there. Did you catch it? No? Here's a hint: Green Lantern. What? You need another hint? *sigh* Fine. Google 'green lantern Nathan Fillion', okay? Okay.**

**Thanks, as always, for reading, and be sure to leave me a review!**


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